Schizophrenia - Describe Your Experience

The eMedicineHealth doctors ask about Schizophrenia.
Please describe your experience with schizophrenia.
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See what others are saying

Published: November 25

Even when I was a child, I always felt that I had odd behaviors. Now, I’m 36 and I still have problems coping with everyday life. I have learned to watch others and follow along so I won’t look out of place, but when I go away from them, it stays in my mind and I wonder if anyone noticed my overreactions. It is very difficult to have this disorder, especially because I feel like I have to keep it so private because no one understands... Not to mention the stigma attached to having any sort of mental illness. I feel like we live in a world of perfectionists. When I have good days, I know that no one is quite perfect and that I’m not the only person who feels that they are not doing everything right. When I have bad days, nothing is good enough. The longer I live, though, the more I realize that I’m not the only person who feels this way, and I wonder why I’m trapped under the label of being schizophrenic at all. Maybe I’m just human like everyone else, insecurities, flaws and all..

Published: September 16

I've wondered at times if I have had some symptoms of schiz. I'm now 62. I've always been quite social. I drink too much but I'm not a hard core alcoholic at all. I have always used recreational drugs but not so much now-just a little marijuana two or three times a week-so I wonder if these schizo like experiences at a younger age were the result of excessive drug use. The one schiz. symptom I've had is delusion-maybe three or four of these at the time of using speed, alcohol and marijuana a few times a week. Once my girlfriend (now wife) and I were driving along and we saw this car with fancy lettering on the side and I said to her that it was a sign or message of something to us. Another time a friend and I had been planting marijuana in a space we had cleared in a corn field. While in this space where the surrounding corn was so thick that no large animal like a cow would want to push through it we found cloven hoof tracks all around our plants. The devil! Was what came to mind to me as it wouldn't have been a cow, and as we rode back in the car I said to him "This is how it starts"-implying it's how the force of evil gets into you. Although very social I have always been fearful of being the center of attention. I once saw a psychiatrist after taking LSD (the fear of a bad trip-which I caused by my own thinking) put me into a depression that got quite bad and lasted several weeks. I saw a therapist who got me a scrip for anti-depressants which in two days had me back to normal. The psychiatrist said I was "just a good neurotic". LOL! Yes but extremely painful social events and patterns of behavior! Now I wonder if alcohol all along has been the major cause of my low level of social and career experience. Had there been someone who could have helped me way back I might have had a much better life. I wanted to be a mental health professional and a good musician neither of which were achieved. I'm still working on the piano though..